Discussion On Penis Size

Is there a preoccupation with penis size in the black gay community? For many years and some will argue that the myth that black men are all very endowed with large penises still persists. It seems that whether gay or straight, black men definitely must shoulder the burden of being defined by a physical attribute that he never chose nor can change. Some would even say that having a big dick is like having money in the bank; it will always guarantee companionship and love. This very notion should be ludicrous. But its not and however twisted it may seem many gay black men are obviously obsessed with finding the proverbial horse hung male. One can hardly avoid hearing comments along the line of small dicks hurt and it was so small that I couldn't feel it inside me. Lets be frank here. Black men are for the most part unhealthily preoccupied with penis size. Most gay men would choose a male with a large penis over a male with a small one despite the fact that the less endowed male may be a more viable companion.

Some brothas even claim that if a male is small he had better be handsome, muscular and very masculine but if he has a big dick then everything else is beside the point. At some point we must evaluate the source of this type of prejudice and ignorance. How many generations of black males will we sacrifice to this blight upon an otherwise cultural rich and diversified race of people? It never makes sense to generalize any situation in life and especially not penis size. There was a time when black people were thought to be generally unable to excel intellectually or even compete on an equal basis in the American society. As a result many of our forebearers were denied education and learning because it was generally believed that it was an exercise in futility to even bother educating black men and women. We now know how false that belief was.

Although somewhat dying out the prejudice of light versus dark was very entrenched within the black psyche. Some still believe that the more fair skinned the person the more capable he or she would be and the more attractive. Gratefully this stereotype has been all but extinguished but the myth of the large penis lives on. Many gay men struggle with low self image and low self value as a result. Living in private hells of loneliness and frustration because of a deep embedded belief that the size of ones penis is proportionate to ones selfworth. It is no secret that gay men are very accomplished in what they choose to do or be but they must all face that moment when despite accomplishment in every area they still feel like its amounts to nothing because no one wants to share my life with me because I don't have a big dick! The real tragedy is the realization that like any pathological disorder the obsession with the actual size becomes warped and eventually no penis is large enough. Everyone secretly wishing that they were larger while trying to gain peace of mind by be comforting themselves with the thought that at least I'm not as small as so and so. What does that really matter? Guess what? It matters alot to many gay black men and yet no one wants to face the problem really. Its one of those things you just don't really think about you just act. Ironically the original myth was imposed by another race to ridicule black men; not to praise them. Brothas in order for us to ever begin to tackle this problem we must first come out of denial! I will go as far to say that if you must enquire about the size of a male's penis you are a part of the   problem or if you feel the need to tout its length!

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DISCUSSION

 

From Valerie

feedback: No matter how many black men claim they have large penis look at the statistics, the thing many white folks won't ever here because blackmen wont tell them, Black woman are still very unsatisfied with them. What good is a big dingy if you cant take care of the whole package. White girls and gay white guys will always be fascinated with this myth, simple as they are about it. To the point of psyching themselves into believing it even if it isnt true getting strung out on it and not realizing there very well may not have been much size above anyone else's but the myth was so big and overwhelming the actuality and reality didnt matter. I'm black, female and I am here to tell you that all black men do not have big penis's. Maybe on an occassion or two they may be bigger than men in other races but there are no guarantees. Either way, this does not guarantee a good performance. Everyone wants to get off. Technique is important. size does matter but not when you're telling yourself you have it just cause your black, what does your partner say. After you get past all that juvenileness, what else are you bringing to the relationship.

From Anonymous

feedback: It's astonishing to me how we, as black people, have played into the socialization of thinking that things like penis size, butt size, chest size, etc. make us who we are.  Why do we focus so much on our hair style, make up, and our body shape, yet neglect what we can really do the most about; our inward man.  The outward flesh will die and return to dust.  Yet our spirit will remain alive.  Why do we put so much time into thinking about and focsuing on outward things when they won't last anyway. 

From EBONYGQ@aol

I have read your comments as well as a few of those of the other members and found some to be valid and others to be somewhat off. I have found in my brief entrance to this life style, that there seems to be much preoccupation on the size of one's penis. This can be seen especailly online when chatting with brothas, where on many oaccsions, someone would instant message or private you, no hello or wassup is said, rather, stats and dick size? Now do tell why and what does the size of my dick have to do with the person that I am. It can be very annoying at times constantly being posed with the question of how much you "packing". I am black Caribbean brotha, 6,4" and slim, and I guess I just fit all the stereotypes of possessing a big penis.Black and or tall and from the caribbean = big dick. Yes I am well blessed in that capacity, but it really gets annoying at times.

Brothas in this lifestyle tend to focus far too much on the superficiality and physicality of relationships. They focus more on a brothas outer appearance, size of his dick , rather than the inner qualities that he may possess. As cute or phine as a brotha may be, there is another one phiner just around the corner. As big as a dick maybe, there are others out there that are bigger. Keep things in perspective my brothas. The old myth or stereotype that black men are well endowed have been perpetuated since time immemorial. A big dick cannot be equated with good sex. As the old saying goes, its not the size of the vessel, but the motion in the ocean ( and in our case add some KY lotion). I guess for many a big dick can be more visually and psychological stimulating. I am baffled at some brothas saying that they enjoy penises 10 inches and over. You may enjoy that now, but do think of your longterm health and well being, when you are damaged internally by such trauma overtime. No!
w do you want your ass to be like someone throwing a hotdog down a hallway or a whale swallowing a tic-tac. I have read in a medical journal speaking on anal intercourse, that over time from constant penetration by over big or above average penises, that one could get growths on the linings of your alimentary canal, damaged sphincster muscles, inability to control muscle contractions and occasion occurence of cancer and other major problems. Think on these things "Size Queens".

I will close with this, if you must know the size of my dick, before you know the size of my mind, and getting to know my internal attributes, then there is no need to continue our convo. Yes sex is important in a relationship as it is the deepest form of communication and most intimate way that we as human being can express our love and desire for the other. But sex is certainly not everything. But in a world where sex has been belittled to one night stands and hook ups, then I can see where the focus on size and physical stimulation and enjoyment will be emphasized, as 2 strangers would have no interest in really connecting on a more emotional and spiritual level. This size issue will continue I am sure for decades to come, as men are often equated by his sexual performance and the head between his legs and not the one on his shoulders. I do know have 2 acquaintances that see there oversized penises(one of at least 12") as less of a blessing than a curse, since people are u!
sually intimidated and reluctant to accept such size. And I don't blame them, so to all those out there who wish that they were really packing, Thank God for what you have, and learn to perfect the art of pleasing your mate with what you have, the ultimate sexual experience is one filled with love, creativity, romanticism, atmostphere, lighting, some tight R&B sex tracks lol and the lifting of limitations in the pursuit of pleasing your partner. 

I have said my piece. Be blessed my brothas, peace and much love from this Miami GQ...

From darrenm90@hotmail

Thanks for raising this normally taboo topic. As a straight white male, maybe I can bring a different perspective to the discussion. Born myself with only a modest endowment, I have always been fascinated by the myth of black male sexuality--particularly the size myth. I often found myself staring at interracial couples on the street, curious about how much the white woman was "getting" at home from her black partner. When I was in college, I dated a young woman who had had a black boyfriend before me. Over time it came out (alright, I kept trying to get it out of her) that he was not only hung but also a fantastic lover (an athlete, he possessed a great body all around). Was I jealous? Yes, but I also found myself powerfully turned on by the thought of them together. She allowed me to work my fantasies about this into our relations. It got me off, and got her !
off too, I think because she really never got over him. Eventually, we broke up, for unrelated reaons. Based on what she told me, I'd say his size made a big difference for her, and I think a lot more straight white men than will admit it share the same fascination that gay men do.

From keyofzee@aol.com

My dear Brother, I am compelled to write a response to your thoughts on the
black male penises. I think that black men are no more concerned with the size of our penises than the average white male. Penis size is a concern of men of all cultures. Masculinity has always been determined by muscles,money and yes, dick size. I feel your belief that black men are overly concerned with the size of our dicks, is quite unfair and an incredible disservice to black men everywhere.
Let's face it, no one wants to take a cruise in a rowboat! signed, Jon, a brother with 13 good reasons to cruise<G>. (my brotha talk about being in a bubble!)

From anonymous

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. I HEAR SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS SAYING THIS AND IT TURNS ME OFF. WHY SHOULD SIZE MATTER? GAY OR SRAIGHT A PERSON SHOULD NOT BE JUDGE ON HOW BIG IT IS. WHAT SHOULD BE JUDGE IS WHAT EACH PERSON BRINGS TO
THE RELATIONSHIP ON MAKING IT WORK. LEARNING AND GROWING WITH YOUR FRIEND. I LOOK AT EACH AND EVERYBODY AS A WORK OF BEAUTIFUL ART CREATE BY GOD. NOT HOW BIG SOMEONE TITS, ASS OR PENIS SIZE IS.

From pookie69@webtv.net

Prior to moving to the good ole USA, I lived in the Caribbean and it is also commonly believed there as well as everywhere else in the world that the black man is humg like a horse. Although I have never taken a ruler to it, I believe that I am about 7 inches. I was convinced that I was short changed in the dick department and it did not help matters any that all most of my friends were bigger than me. When I was 17 years old I had to the opportunity to work in an environment where I saw hundreds of naked black men. (No I did not become a hooker) Much to my relief I quickly learnt that I was just average. I have seen hundreds of black dicks and yes some are truly huge but those were far apart. I do not believe that the black man is hung bigger than the white man. What I do believe though is that when the dick is soft the black man's is bigger than the white man's but when they are hard they are all about the same size. I read that in some medical journal somewhere.

From MrVint@aol.com

Thank you for your commintary on the size of the black man dick. I found your statement very imforative. I believe the attiude of many of our bother's about the size of someone dick is wrong. We don't all have horse dicks, the average size of most men penis's are 6.5'' long. We should be more concerned about the way a man thinks. If you become friends first and not sex first then the other will come. Everyone enjoys sex as much as I do, but when we use it to feel better about ourselves then something is wrong. We must as gay black men find another way to bust our ego's. I share your point of view on this subject, and thank you for speacking your mind. " Peace out"

From ftz062361@aol.com

From the moment I started having sex -- which was relatively late at 21 -- I've been informed by my partners that I'm very well-endowed. Some want to attribute that to my Caribbean background ( Barbados, Jamaica, Virgin Islands). Whatever! I rarely think about what my sex life would have been like had I not been well-endowed. Would they ridicule me? Who knows? Few of my partners have been equally endowed, though some have been. I've yet been with a guy who has been MORE endowed (I know there out there) How do I feel about the proverbial Big Dick? I would say that a big dick on a charming, intelligent, attractive, masculine, sexy man is like icing on the cake. But if I had to choose between an attractive, sexy man with an average endowment and a man who had ONLY a big dick, I'd lean towards the man with the small endowment. I would rarely be attracted to any man whose face I didn't like no matter how big his dick is. I sometimes think we take this big dick business a bit too seriously. I've had this acquaitance/sex partner who used to introduce me to his friends by saying my name and then saying "he has a BIG DICK!!" I didn't speak to him for a whole month because of that behaviour. His explanation was that Haitians were like that.(He's Haitian and fairly well-endowed too) He has, even, been so rude as to totally reject a guy upon discovering the guy's LACK of a big dick. I'm far from sorry for being well-endowed, but thankfully it's not my only virtue. I have considerable intelligience and cultivation so I wouldn't tolerate anyone who could only appreciate me for my endowment. Guys who have a big dick as their only virtue suffer a lot of abuse in this cock-crazy gay life.

From mbaylor@pop.net

Wow, what a great story. I would have never thought about it but I am too guilty of buying into such a myth. But I honestly have to say that I have had a brohta with a small dick that could throw down!!! And on another note, I am fairly well hung, thick and a nice length, but sometimes I wonder if it's enough for some brotha's because of the way they talk about having enough dick. I will think twice from now on before even going there!!! Thanks again.

From marlon3@webtv

You know what, I'm sick of people trying to pretend that physical features are not important. I don't see anything wrong with having a preference for a man with a large penis. Why? Well because I have the right to decide what makes me happy and if it's a man with a large penis then how can anybody look down on me for having a preference. In addition, if someone likes wants a man with a larger penis then why should a person with a smaller penis be offended? The person with the small penis simply has low self esteem and they need to handle that within themselves and stop trying to resolve an inner issue by player hating! I am very attractive, but I haven't met the muscular man of my dreams. Does that mean that society should stop glorifying muscular men? No. It simply means that I need to stop spending so much time at work and go look for the man of my dreams.

From debonairgent@hotmail.com

This is my first visit to your website. I was quite dismayed by many of the comments concerning penis size. Nobody has yet been able to explain to me the connection between the length of a man's penis and the length and quality of a relationship. Black men in general want to be respected as human beings, yet too many gay black men reduce the value of each other based on penis size! How in the hell can we demand respect from this racist society when we can't even respect one another beyond body parts?! To me it's no worse than a white slave master picking a "hung buck" off the auction block!! I just wonder how many black men out there, whether they are gay or straight are being left out because they don't feel, or in worse case scenarios, have been blatantly told that they don't "measure up" at the so called "big dick" ideal? I for one don't believe that a good man is hard to find. I happen to be lucky enough to meet someone wonderful. But I think it's because I'm not caught up in the fantasy of the perfect body and the large penis syndrome. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made by God. And according to my understanding of him at this point in my life.....he does the job right the first time. I just want to encourage all you brothers out there who may feel that they don't "measure up". God made you with a specific design in mind just for you! If anyone has a problem with it...you tell them to go talk to God about it! You are beautiful and worthy of love!! Love yourself, embrace yourself, and accept yourself the way God has made you! He knew what he was doing!!

From RBryceJr@aol.com

Hey Lets face it as black men, we are into size. We would be fooling ourselves and lying to ourselves if we did not admit it. I'll admit that I fell for a guy who did not have what every black man wanted downstairs. It was all good. He did have a strong solid bubble butt. Nice and hairy. So for that summer fling that we had I was the total top with him. Great ass seven days a week. But I missed some dick. We all do at one time or another. Even if we are F-----g that nice butt we sometimes like to play with that dick on our partner. It is all good. The mind of our partners is important. But also if we are not totally satisfied with our partners sexually, we will do the obvious and seek satisfaction elsewhere. We always do. We just do not want to admit it to ourselves. Being a strong and very mature blackman and knowing what I want and what turns me own, I have accepted this in my life. It is time that other blackmen do the same. We should not settle for just anything. Know yourself and your life will be more complete.  Peace and Nothing But Respect To All my Brothers .

From Sput1977@hotmail.com

The answer is "HELL NO" big dick don't ensure appiness.Why,because that's just flat out "STUPID"to even thik that it could.Man,any dick can make you happy sexually.But what about love?what about companionship?what about all of the other things that a dick big or small can give you?Think About It!!Peace

From an anonymous speaker

Hi. I'm a white male, 35 years old.My first experience with a black man was when I was 14 years old.He was in his late teens.We had been having alot of oral sex when one day he decided to rape me.He had let me know his interest in buttfucking me but i'd always turned him down because of his size(he was very big).I had been raped by a male relative when I was younger.My point is he seemed to think it was ok to take me because his cock was so big and that I was white.Some black men seem to think that a white person is willing to do anything for a well hung black dick.I'm surprised that nobody on this site seems to have mentioned this attitude. Thanks, Steve

From an anonymous speaker

women always want to compare you to anotha man. My girl told me her ex had a 9inch dick. When I asked her why she wasn't wit him instead of me (my dick ain't huge but I got one hell of one dick), she said he couldn't hit it like I could. Just goes to show size ain't everything

From an anonymous speaker

It doesn't matter what size you are...as long as you know how to  work what you have...I have been with men who have both small and big dicks..and believe me when i say this... it is some men out there who have big dicks and don't know what the hell they doing..and there are some men who have small dicks..who can send your ass to cloud nine..lol...now this is just my opinion..and you  can accept or leave it..but it is how the person is and what they can do to satisfy you... not how big there penis is...

From an anonymous speaker

I found your discussion very interesting.I'm a white male,28 years old.Alot of whites are fasinated by the big black dick. It's true that not all black men are well hung but many are.As a white man I have a real interest in big black penis.Much of my desire comes from the skin contrast between me and a black lover, but size does matter to me.A large black penis is the most erotic thing in the world.Having grown up in a majority black I learned that size is important.Over the years I've been with all sizes of black men(and a few fellow whites) and I've learned that a large brown penis is better. Since I'm a bottom the big ones have always satifyed me more.Having a really big black penis pumping in my ass is almost a religious experience. A big penis has a greater effect on both men and women.I do think that whites tend to objectify black men and judge them sexually on their size.That is wrong but I do it too.Being dominated by a black men feels natural to me.To be mounted and pumped by a really big black man is ecstacy.I've been taken by some really large black men over the years. I guess that makes me a " size whore" So be it. If you are well endowed be proud. I'm sorry if i offended anyone.


From an anonymous speaker

Hi. I am a white male,bi-sexual,30 years old.I've had occasional sex with men(mostely black) since I was 14 years old.I think that you are right that black men worry that they are'nt big enough but in my experience they do tend to be larger than white men.I've had sex with some very large black men.Alot of white women would confirm the size superiority of most black men.I think that a larger penis is better both orrally and analy.Plus the skin contrast is very erotic. thanks for the time. Paul

From Anonymous Writer

I must say that this issue has generated quite alot of debate, as is obvious from the numerous replies that you have had. And, fro this, I must commend you for initiating a discussion that clearly needed to be had.

Well, that aside. I would like to add my two cents worth to this discussion. Personally, I am of the opinion that generally, black men, especially where i am from - the Caribbean - are bigger and in some cases "hung huge" than men of other races. This has been based largely from what I have seen, which whn you consider it has niot been that much any way. As a matter of fact, I would like to consider myself a "virgin", in sofaras I have never been penetrated nor have I given head to any man - black or otherwise! Still. I must say that there seems to be an overemphasis which is placed on being "black and hung"! I must add that, even I myself has been guilty of this particular infatuation, which is perhaps ironic I am neither big (physique - wise), or hung (penis - wise). Nonetheless, this does not stop me from leading as full and as active a life as anyone else. As a matter of fact, I would like to regard myself as being more confident than the "ordinary person" - gay and bisexual men included!

I find it unfortuante that that there are those men - black, or otherwise - who will define themselves soley in terms of penis. I am a small guy and i do not consider myself "shortchanged", as the term has been bandied about with scuch casualness in this course of this discussion. I say though, that getting to this place was of course a challenge, especially when one considers that I the Caribbean, where the percentage mixing of races, or miscegnation, as the academics call it is perhaps not as high as elsewhere as there is are large concentrations of of "black" people (People of African Ancestry. Hence, there is the belief that all Jamaicans, Antiguans, among others are supposed to well hung studs. As a matter of fact, there is this really sexually active gay friend of mine who will attest to to the "fact" that Antiguan men are moew well endowed than any other men he has been with. Personally though, I do find that these stereotypes hold true in all circumstances and as a matter of fact, he does not seem to mind the fact that there are men with smaller penises (dicks?), as all he seems to be looking for is a good time.

I'll add as a parting shot though, that there does seem to some truth to the so - called "myth" that black men have bigger penises than men of other racial groupings. I will also, admit that as a bisexual male, the thought of being "plowed" to use the words of one of the respondents in this informal survey (of opinions o the subject) is an intersting one. i'll even go as far as to say that it might just be a turn on. However, I have found that most tof these guys, given what I know of them (not sexually now) are real JERKS! Sometimes of the highest order - straight, gay, or bi! I would also, like to say that there needs to be an expansion of the minds of those men - black and otherwise - who feel that ALL black men are hung - huge. And, those men who are perhaps fortunately, or no should resist the urge to define themselves as such. As one friend of mine has said - "lift your head above your waist and see the rest of the world for a change!" - Words to live by....

From southern love

First, let me say thanks to the creator(s) of this forum. Moving on, there is a very discouraging need in the gay communiy on finding, as Lauryn Hill sings, "THAT THING". The bigger a man's dick is, the more we want and desire him. It is this kind of ridiculous thinking that has caused promiscuity, the spread of countless diseases, and the lack of long lasting relationships. We all at one time or another have had HUNG FEVER, which is going after those guys who are at least 8 inches and UP!! But to be honest, a large dick on a fine black brotha is like looking at an art masterpiece. Just like on the home page, that is someone I wouldn't mind being alone with on a desert island. But I also would want to love his mind, spirituality, & personality. These things are something that get in the way of those who fuck for the sake of fucking. If we could focus on loving a man from head to toe, dick size would be a forgotten matter. There are too many BEAUTIFUL BLACK BROTHAS out there to just aim for the ones with big bones. you could be missing out on true love if his inches are all that matters to you.

From ric450@aol.com

Your essay is very interesting. I commend you for taking on a topic that a lot of us think about but don't really discuss. I was moved by the article and proud to be reading it. I was enjoying a black man taking on a real issue in a positive way. We have arrived.

However, when I reached the bottom of the page, I clicked on your "frontpage" button. And low and behold, there is a pic of a black man with the perverbial "big dick". Back to the drawing board.

I think maybe you too should go back and evaluate your desire to see the "big black dick".

As we continue to struggle, I thank you for at least attempting to take on a worthy topic with a sincere heart.

PEACE!

(Dear speaker this article is not meant to discourage anyone from admiring black males who have a large pensis nor to decry depictions of black males with a large penis. Its focus is to inform others that such traits are no more common among black males than males of other races and not to place over emphasis on this trait among black males nor develop unhealthy obsessions. If you explore the site there are pictures showing erect penises in varying sizes. But lets be real and admit that a picture of a handsome black male with a large pensis is something to behold!)

From ras81@columbia.edu

Great discussion! I've dated men from all races (even one who claimed to be from another galaxy), but I'll leave the dick size stuff to the experts. I was in Senegal on business last May and became close to a guy who eventually introduced me to his own mother as his brother! We traveled all over together, rode in canoes upriver, slept on the floors of huts and were silly all day long. One day when it was 110 degrees in the middle of a dust storm and we were trying to arrange for transport to another town, he started laughing because I looked so scary with all that dirt and sweat and mess. Then right there in front of everyone he pulled me close to him and said, "I am going to miss you when you leave." And when I left he told me he loved me. I never saw this man's dick, so I don't know if it is 2 inches or 22, and I probably never will see it, but I will love him like I have loved no other because he was the warmest, funniest, most generous and most goddam beautiful human being I have ever met. I wouldn't trade THAT for a bushel of big dicks!

Richard

From an anonymous speaker

Dick size has nothing to do with nothing. This comes from a big bick brutha. What really matters is the peson and what they are about. We don't have any contorl over what naionality we were born or any of those givens, but we can choose to be loving to our fellowman..

From Rone101@webtv.net

The myth about a black man's penis sze is greatly exaggerated. I personally can not speak on this myth because by preference I've only been with black men. However, from being at my gym and being around men in the sports industry I've encountered some penises (DICKS, lets keep it real) on some Italian and Iris men that have made me almost lose my mind. So, like many other myths it stand on a foundation of fiction;however, if there is a poll (No pun intended) or sample that needs to be done to verify the dick size (I mean penises) of non-men of color vs. men of color sign me up pronto!!!!!!!


From  rahiem121@aol.com

Does having a big dick guarantees happines? OF COURSE IT DOES NOT. In the same way that having a tight ass does not gurantee you happines. What having a big dick gurantee, is more sex, since (although i might be send to the gallows for this) we gay men are driven by sex not intelligence or love. and as long as this remains the driving force behind who we take to bed then the myth (if thats what it is ) will remain dominant.

But before i launch out into the deep, let me attack the myth story. Now we all know what a myth is (something that's not true) Now, it is said that most black men have large dicks, and many conclude that this is a myth. Who did the research to prove this a myth and what section or number of black males were studied, to conclude that this is a myth? What percentage of black males have large penis and what percentages does'nt? Provide me with the statistics and then lets talk about the myth.

I live daily only to hear, boy! you back guys are so well endowed (and that's because i am one of those black man that is) The truth is that the black male sex organ is only big or bigger when compare to something else. and this some thing else is his white counterparts sex organ. so if there is a high percentage of white or non black males who have small penis, then the talk about most black men having big dicks is not a myth, but instead a reality. Lets not be so quick to jump on the band wagon and proclaim at the top of our voices that this is a myth. Provide me with credible data and then lets talk.

Now don't get me wrong, i am not proclaiming the big dick male or the mandigo story heaven. what i am trying to establish is whether or not we should be so quick to proclaim it a myth.

Now, discrimination is discrimination in whatever form it comes in. I am strongly against it. So my heart goes out to the brothers who are discriminated against because through no fault of their own they possess a 'small dick'. the discussion should be about the power of the mind, but for many of us we don't take the mind to bed. we instead take the body i.e the dick or the ass, the lips or the chest, or the six packed stomach, so to hell with the mind. i know this is sorry as hell but this is life...so deal with it, until you can encourage a change.

sex plays a very important role in the longivity of a relationship (and don't fool yourselves into believing otherwise) so if the organs can't or don't live up to its expectation regardless of the LOVE, UNDERSTANDING etc, there is going to be unhappines. the end result you can decide for yourself.

BIG UP the brothers who thrive on love and not on sex, you are a rare specie, endangered and special. i am outie

From an anonymous speaker

HAVING A BIG DICK IS AN ATTRIBUTE, BUT IT IS NOT THE ONLY MEANS OF PROVIDING PLEASURE. THE "HANDS" CAN PERFORM WONDERS JUST AS ANY BIG DICK.

From an anonymous speaker



Penis size is the cancer in the gay community like racism is in America. We will not solve that problem. Just as we say media is responsbile for a chunck of the violence in America, so is the images in the popular gay media are responsible for perpetuating this disease and falacy. And we as brothas believe it. Penis size does not matter...if a brotha can work magic in all ways...dick and lips and hands...no matter the size...I'll take him to a brotha who stands there with just a tree trunk and who couldn't even kiss a fly.

From an anonymous speaker

Size to me does count...But... it all depends in what context. If you (I) want to fuck around for a thrill, then a huge dick is lots of fun. I had a "fuck buddy" who was well hung, 10". But my lover for the past year and a half is much smaller (still black but smaller). The most important thing is what he can do with it... He brings me to climax just as good as a 10incher. The old addage "It's not the size of the worm, but the way you wiggle it" is so true.. And to make matters worse, SOME well hung studs don't know how to use it, they have this huge thing between their legs and that's all it is, a thing....

 

From  workout8@usa.net

One brother that I truly loved did not have a real large penis, but he could kiss out this world and he knew how to treat a brother. He was the best lover I ever had. He was so masculine and fine. I was much bigger than he was, but when I was with him he definitely left an impression on me. And he had the sweetest mouth I've ever had on me. I still love this brother but we have both moved on. Size does not matter. Quality and personality matter.

 

From an anonymous speaker

The size of a man's penis has nothing to do with the love he has in his heart or his willingness to support you in all you do. One reason the black gay community has problems is substaining relationships is due to out dated thinking that 'it's the penis that counts." I say, it's the heart and the love between indiviudals that counts. I find it difficult finding that 'right person' because the people I meet have other issues regarding sex that I must deal with (I am average). I'm looking for a mate, not a horse hung trophy.

 

From  jamdownuc

I am from a country where the myth is that we all are well hung but I know that is not at all true. Yes I have been caught up in the hype of big dick since living here in the good old USA. I tell you dick size is not really an unhealthy obsession any where else like it is here. I happen to have 9 inches and had a guy brother tell me that it was too small for him. I know of others who are bottoms but have a big dick and here guys ask why would he want to be fucked when he has such a big dick. I could go on and on about the varied views on dick size. I have a lover now and though before him most of the guys I have been with have been well hung, he isnt, but I am with him because he is truely the man of my dreams. I dont know if we will ever get away from the dick size issue and the obsession with it. I have had men of a lot of different races and in countries all over the world, but I could only love and be with a brother. Some guys have and know how to use it well and some dont, Even if you cant get past the size issue please make sure that you take time to see if the body and soul behind the dick is worth it.

 

From wwayne@pacbell.net

I read your comments about penis size (and side issue regarding skin color), I think if a man allows himself to be to defined by the size of his penis he is actually the one with the problem, not the person applying outdated, obscure cultural ideas. I think to make penis size an issue is to make valid the myths surrounding our culture in general. Like, for instance, the myth about light skinned blacks versus darker skinned blacks. I am a racially mixed black man (African American/Portuguese/Native American), I have tan skin and very latin/european features. I have been called names or had false assumptions made about my self-perspective by other black people, believe me that hurts more than being called the worst names by any non-black person. My point is this, if we continue to allow issues such as penis size, skin color, good hair/bad hair distract us from out obligation to give unconditional love, then we are thwarted, will not grow, and will be left in the past. I realize that these issues can be are important to some people, and I don't deny their relevance. I do however, think they are just two of issues that need to be examined and resolved in order for black people (and other minorities) to develop a healthy mental and spiritual outlook which are the only things that will carry us forward.

 

From an anonymous speaker

Being a man of size, I must said size is a complication. In my youth. Being a large was my advantage. All queens want a big dick. But, in my old age 33, and interested in developing a lasting relationship I find that my big dick just gets in the way. It seen all queens still want are big dick. Don't get my wrong, I still love being well endowed, but must of the men I meet notice the size of my dick first. That's not a problem I only wear boxers. The problem is none of them wants to take the time to date and develop a relationship without first trying it on for size first. I'm an nice looking guy, well read,in many things, looking for love. All my and big dick seems to attack are size queens. Size shouldn't matter. I think if people got to know each other and make love size wouldn't matter. But as go must people these days are just FUCKING and guest if that want you're doing the only that matter is size, sad but true.

From bigbuk
big.buk@mci2000.com
It's sad that alot of people do view the size of the penis as a criteria for the "perfect" man. I must admit that if I had to choose, I to would want a large penis. but I feel that there are some people with smaller penis who do quite well when it come sto intimacy. To quote a phrase..."it's not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean. Let's learn to love the WHOLE person..not just his penis.

 

From Ivy
ilg@welchlink.welch.jhu.edu
First of all, let me say I am new to the forum and look forward to many thought provoking discussions concerning gay black men. The current topic is an issue I just cannot resist and like so many things in life, you bring your life experiences to many a concern. I know in my heart(and my head)that the "big-black-dick" myth is just that, a "myth." I know it! However, I also am not blind. I have gone to a mixed gym for 10years now. And have had my fair share of white and black lovers. Very few of my white lovers have been as big as I and the black guys at the gym(yes, I look :-) while many are small, medium and average, almost all of the truly gifted interms of dick size are men of color. Like I said, I go by what I have seen. True, I have not seen every white man naked nor every black and or hispanic. But from what I have seen, black men seem to be better hung. Have I ever based a relationship on dick size? Never! Do I enjoy gettting my hands on big fat dick from time to time, !
yes! But if a big dick is all that he can offer, the sex is dull and the relationship meaningless. My 2 cents.

 

From an anonymous speaker in Finland

Im a 25-year-old guy from Finlad. There have been very few black people in our country. Nevertheless the size
of the dicks of black men is well-known fact here. I personally agree that the size varies, but generally the rule is: black men have bigger dicks than white men and asians have smaller dicks than whites. In our country a naked black man in a swimming pool showers is a sensation. Even the staight men are curious. Last summer when I was in the swimming stadium of Helsinki Olympics, something happened, which made all the heads of men in the showerroom turn. A long black men with two children walked in. He had a beautiful 8+ inches (soft) penis. The reason why I tell this is that this is the most obvious reason, why black men usually shower their swimwear on in our capiltals swimming pools. I would like to see all good-looking men naked, black men including. Personally I don`t consider the size as important. The shape of a penis is more important. And the most important thing is that the guy is cute. I have a 7 inches dick and it has served me well. As a white mans dick it can be classified as the size L. (I think it would be size M for black men.) Finally I couldn`t consider a black man as a boyfriend very easily. The reason is that black men seem to appreciate traditional masculinity very high. I`m a modern scandinavian guy and do not need to show off. I wanna show my emotions openly and express my love clearly. I don`t have the need
to be cool all the time. Of course I know that exeptions allso exist whithin the black community. Traditions are
valuable, but they can transform to obsessions, which live their own live. All the best for you who wanna brake the rules. With the words of Tracy Chapman "say it, say it, say it, tell it like it is". (First of all thank you for your response speaker becuase I really didnt know that blacks were even in Finland! My response to you is that in a different world it would be nice to believe that all men could be judged by the quality of their characters and not the size of their dicks!)

 

 

 

From Two-headed Black Man
Tresfaim@aol.com
The head on my shoulders is the one I choose to think with and actually to love with. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex that isn't necessarily tied into being in love with my sex partner, in other words what we call casual sex. But for me (and my partners have usually concurred) even sex for sex sake is more fulfilling when it is done with care, understanding and a sense of both partners seeking their own and the other's pleasure. Preoccupation with any one physical characteristic takes away from the experience as a whole. I've done it before and was left feeling incomplete. When I've only gone after the big dick (and with my tender rear, I've even focused on smaller dicks exclusively), that's all I would get and would be dissatisfied with the experience. Now, at the age of 33 and interested in having fulfilling experiences, not just substitutes for fulfillment (usually called fantasies), I focus on 1) who it is I'm dealing with, 2) the person's thoughts and thinking, 3) the level of passion the person brings to the table, 4) what characteristics (physical, mental and otherwise) is he bringing to the experience (dick size, height, weight, muscularity, etc.) and take that into account. See, I remember being "dick-struck" and feeling this compulsion to prove I can handle the biggest dicks I came across, only to my detriment because rarely were the big-dicked men caring or careful in their handling of my boody, let alone interested in any other part of me. So, I had to rethink the WHOLE thing, and came up with a completely different focus in my sexual relating: no matter what the dick size (mine at its longest is 6"), will we even CHOOSE to have some sort of penetration (being HIV positive has helped me slow down and think about that too), if we do go to the penetrative diving board, who will penetrate whom? I will only go there if it feels natural and is something we both feel would be desirable and leave us BOTH with a feeling a completion to the experience. I spent a few nights with a wonderful brother, handsome and everything, a little on the uptight side, but nevertheless very passionate. His dick was maybe a good 8" and he had a nice physique. Well, I kid you not, we kissed ALL MOTHAFUCKIN NIGHT LONG! And it was good and even when I tried to start something penetrative and he resisted, I wasn't mad. I realized in that moment, it didn't matter that much to do "that particular thing." I actually wonder if we get psyched out by the mass media and sex-crazed white society into believing our dicks and asses are the only part of us that equal a real, satisfying sexual experience. So, though I do marvel at the SIGHT of big dicks (just like I gawk at 6'7" bodies and -- due to my bisexual nature -- big titties), the size of a particular part of one's anatomy doesn't have the same hypnotic effect it used to on me. I guess I've grown to appreciate all that a man will have to offer... not just his dick. Yes, I have enjoyed that "filled-up" feeling, but I've also enjoyed pussy, oral-sex, cumming in one's mouth, hairless-asses, three-ways, and lots of other "feelings" none of which are essential to my sexual satisfaction. So, all the arguments in favor of bein hypnotized by the dick size are moot points; we need to get a grip on what else is valuable about loving and being loved by a Black man! PEACE BROTHAS... AND MUCH LOVE TO YA!!!

 

 

From Romeo
hibrown1@1X.NETCOM.COM
I THOUGHT I HAD A BIG DICK UNTIL I SAW MOBY'S. THAT'S WHEN I GOT ENVIOUS. MAN!
HIS SHIT IS HUGE!

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMETHING OUT THERE BIGGER.
BUT IT DON'T NECESSARILLY HAVE TO BE BETTER!

BEING A MAN OF TRUTH AND QUALITY I MUST ADMIT, THAT ALTHOUGH HAVING A BIG DICK DOES HAVE IT'S ADVANTAGES, CONCENTRATING MORE ON SPECIFIC NEEDS IN AREAS OF PLEASURES HAS MORE.

(THIS IS SOMETHING LIKE CLASS...YOU CAN NOT FAKE IT. IT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU MUST ACQUIRE ONLY THROUGH PRACTICE.)

THE BODY IS A SENSATIVE MASK OF HIDDEN PLEASURES. THE ART IS TO SEEK (BY FEELING) AND FIND (BY DETERMINATION) THE GREATEST NUMBER OF WAYS OF SATISFYING THESE SENSES.

FOREPLAY IS THE AROUSAL OF AFFECTION. IT IS A PRELUDE TO THE ART OF MAKING LOVE. LOVE MAKING WITHOUT BEING SEXUALLY AROUSED IS JUST SEX.

I BELIEVE THAT WITH THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF TIME AND EFFORT INVESTED INTO FOREPLAY, ANYONE COULD MASTER THE ART OF LOVE MAKING. NOW, ISN'T THAT WHAT THE WHOLE NUT IS ALL ABOUT? ANYONE COULD WHIP A WOOD...EVEN A LUMP ON THE LOG. BUT IT TAKES MASTERY TO MAKE A DICK FEEL GOOD EVEN IF IT'S A BIG ONE.

 

 

Danny
nordicbottom@hotmail.com

s a gay white bottom I am one of those guys whose primary fantasy is a hung black top to mount me and fuck me real good. Of course, in Norway (where I live) the myth is not only that black men are hung huge, but also that they are hotter and hornier than white men. Black men are always ready, willing and able
to fuck and fuck and ...... well, you get the picture. In reality of course I have experienced that black men can be any size. Though, it is quite clear that the percentage of lack men who are hung - and hung huge - is much higher then
among white men. One could assume that black men with average or small endowment is an "unfortunate" conse-
quence of racial mixing. Inferior white dick size genes are mixed in with black genes. But that is simply stupid. In Africa you will clearly see that different etnic groups have varying penis size. In West-Africa woloff are hung 10" plus, mandinka are 9-10", serer are 9", and fula are 8-9". But in Ghana there are very many men who are 5-7". It is my experince that all men in Africa have thicker endowment than white men. That is also true for those men who are rather small (lenght-wise). I enjoy going to gay saunas in the US. I usually get a cabin and wait for black men to come crusing. I always made it clear that I was a bottom looking for black tops. I noticed that many black men would appear to be interested, but even so they would not come in even when invited. I have carefully analyzed how I behaved to fine out what was going on. This is what I came up with: Hung black men would enter my cabin regardless of whether I signaled and interest in sucking and or fucking. But less endowed black men would only enter when I was lying flat on my stomach and romoving my towel to signal: Mount me and fuck me without any foreplay. They would fuck me - and very entusiastically I might ad - and then immediately leave. No cuddling or talking after sex. Hung black guys could do either or. But maybe they were so secure with their dick size that they didnt have to leave my cabin in a hurry for that reason. Is size that important: Yes and no! If you are hung you can satisfy a bottom anytime. Even when the action is over, I can enjoy his big flacid dick in my butt. But if he is average
or smaller, then he simply has to be a better lover to give me the same pleasure. But a smal or average black dick can be just as good as a really big one. And to be quite frank: Very often hung black guys get lazy. They are used
to being worshipped so much that they just simply doesnt try very hard. But smaller sized tops do make more of an effort. So quite frankly I can say that any size from 5" and up is fine for me, provided that it isnt very tiny. I need to feel that I am being plowed. But no pain please. To those of you black guys who felt embarrased about your dick size, dont be. And to those of you black guys who are hung and spoiled to much to even care: Wise up and improve your perfor-mance. (Your feedback further illustrates the widespread occurrences of these depraved and harmful myths. Black men must live with the burden of these myths form early childhood. This is very damaging to both the well endowed and the not so well endowed. It is just one more abuse that this world chooses to heap upon the shoulders of the black man. I was sickened literally by your feedback and I can see the need for this forum. To all black men who may read this please learn from this and stop feeding into the image of how the world would like to perceive you! I excuse the sender of this feedback because he is only acting out what society has dictated to him but we as black men it is time we stop letting society define who we are and what is valuable about us. Black men are indeed a treasure and not because of a secondary sex organ but that we continue to strive against a whole world that would objectify us to bring forth the excellence that is inside. Black is indeed beautiful and that is why this world seeks to mar and defile that beauty . But I give notice that we as black men are no longer going to stand by and allow ourselves to be treated as objects .)

Rebuttle From Danny
nordicbottom@hotmail.com
I was somewhat surprised at reading your comment to my e-mail on this subject. I grant you that you may be more POLITICALLY CORRECT than I. Today all gays are supposed to be AIDS-aware (which I am) and living in a relationship with a significant other (which I am not). What I said about penis size is not a myth. It is a fact. Certain ethnic groups in Africa are definetely hung, and in some cases even hung huge. However, this is not something that applies to all African men. Some ethnic groups in Africa are on the small side. Now this may be an embarassement to a black man in America who is shortchanged. So many men and woman are concerned with penis size, and when
going to bed with a black man they expect some-thing well above the average 6". But to what length should we deny this physical attribute in order to take the pressure off men with small size dicks? A fact is a fact, and we should be able to talk about it without having to be politically correct all the time. In my comment I was talking about casual sex at gay saunas. My reason for doing that was simply because it was in a setting like that where penis size is an important factor. There is nothing else than physical attraction going on. That is what we are all going there for.
Now pardon me for not appologizing for looking for meat in suck a place. And my point was acutally that a big penis was not an automatic success. What you do with it is in fact more important. In the Middle East I am considered very attractive and desirable. I am blond and blue eyed and I am bottom. Is it "wrong" by the Arab men to get horny because they love guys with blond hair? Or is it so that only certain physical traits are politically
incorect? You may be attracted to muscles, but not a black man's big dick. You may be attracted to blue eyes and blond hair, because it is not embarrasing for anyone not to meet that criteria. You may then - perhaps - be into really hung white dick, because that is only an "added bonus" on this white guy. But you may not say out loud that
you get turned on by big black dick when you are at the "meat marked"? I just dont get it. You dont solve this problem by hiding the facts. And to make it quite clear: The problem in my mind is that sometimes a black
man is only considered for his dick size, and more importantly: Sometimes black men meassure their own self esteem by their own dick size. The problem then not being whether or not black men in fact are - on average - hung or not, or whether or not someone are attracted to these hung black men, but simply perception. I am generally not attracted to white men. If I could choose between a hung white guy and a small size black guy, I would go for the black dick any time. Should white men feel put down for that reason? Of course not. Is it unacceptable for a
black man to turn on to a blond guy? Of course not. What is unhealthy - I guess - is when you choose a partner for a longterm relationship solely on the basis of his dick size. But I dont do that because I am not stupid. When you are in love all the rules are suddenly changed. It doesnt matter how many inches you have to plow my butt, if the
alternative is to make love with the man I love. So in order for me to be somewhat politically correct at the end: It is more important what you do than what size you are. But trying to pretend that there arent a hole lot of hung black guys out there, just to make other guys feel better, well that is just plain silly. We all have different physical carac-
teristics. What we all have to do is make the best out of what we have. And yes, many black men are hung. But being less endowed is just as "black". Dicks come in all sizes in Africa. I say that from personal experience.
Your focus shouldnt be that it is bad or wrong that some black or white men are into big dicks. Your focus should be that for every dick there is a worshipper. And when men - black or white - value each other as individuals just because of dick size, well, that is a problem. But when I cruise for a sex partner at the gay sauna I reserve the
right to take dick size into consideration. But a final warning to you hung guys out there. Dont think you can get away with everything just because you are hung. Theres a lot of not so hung black guys out there who are sensational in the sack! (Danny as a white man whether you had a large penis or not society for the most part wouldn't care because that is the black man's burden and the value of a white man is not tied to the size of his dick . Furthermore it was a burden placed upon him by other races not to praise him but to demean what may have been perceived to be a racial characteristic. White men are free to be just who they are physically and mentally but a black man's endowment is forever tied to his identity. Never once have a heard whites say I dated a black man because he was a good person with a good heart. No its always he is sexy or he has a big dick! We are tired of this! We can be business men, scientists, and any other profession but if one didn't know better you would think whites can only accept and perceive us as athletes and play things. I think that males in general will be phallo-centric to a certain degree. This is normal. But you and people like you both black and white are the main contributors to these myths and no matter how you dress it up you are size conscience and quite proud of it! And because you are white you have no clue what these seemingly innocent beliefs have had on black males world wide. Black men are unhealthily preoccupied with penis size because that is how society defines our value. As I stated before I don't find your behavior strange; on the contrary it is profoundly typical. But in the scheme of things if you want to encourage a black man don't do so by saying you would choose him over a white man with a larger penis but respect him as a human being and not an object. Your response was full of statements that were unbelievably arrogant and flagrantly ignorant. It is my sincere desire that you learn from the forum that you are contributing to the problem because you seem like an individual with a conscience albeit a very misguided and ill informed one.)

 

 

Danny
nordicbottom@hotmail.com
I am born, raised and have lived for my entire life in Norway. From the age of 2 I was thaught in the kindergarden to sing the song: "Some child-ren are white, some are black, some are brown, some are red and some are yellow. A lot is dif-ferent but that is all on the outside!" Norway is in every respect a social democratic society in which egalitarian principles are vigorously per-sued in kindergarden, grammar school, high school, college and university, as well as by all politi- cal parties (with the possible exception of one). Untill the age of 19 I had never heard a single
derogative remark about other races, whether in my home, at school, among my friends or anywhere else for that matter. But I guess I lived in a well organized lower middle class community. It was all very safe and protected.But at the age of 19 I was drafted (as all men are in Norway). For the first time I occationally could hear racist remarks. But the general attitude was one of strong disapproval. This simply wasnt done. It was unacceptable to be racist in Norway in 1976.So when you describe racism in America, well, I have seen it on television, but I cannot in any way really understand what it means for anyone being subjected to it. My response will be quite academic: How would I respond if his happened to me? And that is a totally futile exercise. In my formative years I was never subjected to racism,and I cannot understand the damage this could inflict if subjected to it every day of my life from birth untill the day I die.And now you are telling me that I - who for my entire life have not had one deliberately racist thaught in my head - in fact perpetuate racism and in reality is a major part of the problem. Whether or not I accept this analysis I do not know. But I must take this under consideration.

But I do have some questions for you:

1) Are you saying that ON AVERAGE black men in America are not hung about 1-3" more than white men? (If so I must say that I am surprised. Because my personal experience clearly suggest that this is the case. It is of course possible that black men with smaller endowment do not approach white men like me, simply because they expect me to be loking for hung black guys. If so my "stati-stical data" is simply predominantly from that portion of black men who are hung. And as such it is not representative of the average black male in America.)

2. Is it at all possible to be politically correct at a gay sauna? (Which criteria is acceptable as the basis for
choosing a fuck buddy for 5 minutes or 2 hours in the dark? Hairstyle, muscles, height, waist, chest, dick size? A combination of any or all of these? My preference in dick size is primarily something for this particular setting. Because in borad daylight I simply look for the whole package! If the guy then also happens to be hung, so much the better. If he is masculine and muscu-lar, wonderful. If he has heavy balls with big cum load, thats fine too. But I have never met any white guy who fell in love with a big black dick. You fall in love with a man! I cannot believe that
this is not the case in America also.)

3. Arent you a racist in the way you describe all white men? (We do not in your opinion have any redeeming
qualities at all. Our reasons for loving a black man is limited to appreciating his dick size and muscular built if you are right. But I cannot in any way recognise any of this from the black and white couples I know in Norway. You basically accuse white men of being able to have any true feelings for black men. Quite frankly it would appear that a major portion of the problem is in your own head.)

4. Is it permissable for a HUNG black man to show off his stuff at a gay sauna? (Why shouldnt he show it off and find a fuck buddy who enjoys just what he has to offer?)

5. Why does my preference for a hung black top become a chain around the ancle for a shortchanged black bottom?
(I am not turned on the a lot of many men of many races. Why is that not a problem? And why should I change or hide my preference in order to assist black men in changing their feeling of self worth and identity? Isnt that something that must be changed from within anyway?)

6. Do you seriously contend that penis size is of no importance what so ever when we are talking about casual sex?
(If you do you are obviously not a gay bottom. A penis can in fact be both to small and to big if you are into ass fucking. I once had casual sex with an African-American man who lives here in Norway. He was a very big guy, but his penis was very tiny and less than 4". Now, if you are a gay bottom you know that a part of the physical fun
for a bottom is the feeling of being opened up and filled. His dick was to small for that. In addition to the physical aspect, there is also the added emotional pleasure having another man on top of me. I wasnt able to experience that with him. Now, I dont want to put him down in any way. But the sex simply didnt work under these conditions. But
then sex doesnt work with women either! Does that make me a racist?)

7. Are you under the impression that penis size is a question only for black men? (I hate to dissappoint you, but penis size is the single most important issue among white gay men. The average white penis is 6". At least that is so
in Norway. Being 6'3" and weighting in at approx. 200 lbs, I am glad that I can add an inch to that. But, God wouldnt I love to have more than 7". However, for every dick on this planet there is a lot of worshippers. And as a bottom it is my comfort that a lot of top guys dont really care anyway. I know for a fact that I have been ignored
by a lot of guys who would rather have someone with a bigger penis than mine. I may be a little envious of hung guys, but it does nothing to my self-esteem that I am not hung. Likewise it would have improved my chances a lot if I had been fair blond instead of dark blond. But thats life.)

CLOSING REMARKS: In Africa penis size is of no importance at all (Well, I should perhaps say the Gambia, Senegal and Ghana, because thats really the only countries I know.) But is is important that your penis works
properly and more than once a day. Shortchanged black boys/men who skinny-dip with more generously
endowed friends do not get teased about that. It simply doesnt seem to be an issue. But then again gay sex isnt an issue either. Is that what you are looking for: A society where dick size is of no importance at all? That may be fine for guys who are young, handsome, intelligent, kind, gentle, charming and giving. But if all you have going for yourself is your penis size, shold you still not use it to your advantage?

If black men meassure their self-worth simply as a consequense of their penis size, how is that my problem? I surely dont equate the penis size of a casual sex partner to his worth as an indiviual. And I reserve the right to fall in
love with him and live with him regardless.

If I can live happily with my just above average penis, then why shouldnt anyone else? You say that my preference in big dicks is a burden to black men. But quite often hung men know they can get together with other hung men - they simply dont settle for my size. Its dissappointing, but I dont blame anyone for it.

Again, you talk about myths, but everything I have ever experienced clearly indicates that the myth to a certain extent is true. Why is it then not possibl to say it out loud. I can see it would be harmful to say that all black men are hung. But to say something in general about this subject just simply cannot be wrong. Having the facts right is important. Since you claim my information about black penis size is wrong, then enlighten me. What is in your opinion correct? And what do the rest of you think about this? (Danny I am going to let you have the last word because I fear the length of your next rebuttle. You have silenced me with sheer volume alone ; a feat never done before! If you ever start your own page and have to format and post comments as long as yours you will understand where I am coming from but your views are well taken nonetheless. Thank you)

 

Danny
nordicbottom@hotmail.doc
Having given this subject some thought, I am of the opinion that this size problem is a non-African problem. That is: Being black is - outside Africa - a one race-identity. But of course that is not in any way true. In that way a lot of menfeel they must live up to a genetic expectattion that is not in their racial back-ground. Such false beliefs do not exist in Africa. Less endowed African men do not have to live up to the stereotypes of being hung huge. So in a sence I guess they are in the same situation as similarly endowed white men. The solution is not to deny some black men to be proud of their size, but to get as much information as possible to as many as possible about the diversity of black penis size, which - as a matter of fact - on AVERAGE - is bigger than whites. You may wish to be silent os this point in order to avoid admitting the fact, and you may blame it on the VOLUME of my comment. But as a debate techique it SUCKS. ( Danny I feel that it is foolish and tasteless to debate penis size period. However, you are entitled to your beliefs no matter how contentious they may be. The purpose of this forum is to probe the unhealthy perceptions within the black gay community of the importance of penis size and not which race has bigger penises . This is not to say your points aren't well taken and I am sure that there are black and white males who subscribe to your pernicious views wholeheartedly. Your ability to respond and to defend your views is quite admirable but there is a limited amount of space and attention to develop the discussion and it isn't fair to let one speaker monopolize the whole forum.)

 

 

William
happyone@ihug.co.nz
I do not believe that the size of a man's dick is relevant. It is the size of his humanity towards his fellow man than matters most. Neither do I think the colour of a man's skin is that important. I am white, and I love black men
simply is because they are different from me. It is variety that makes the world go around and I would like to see as much variety as I can. Naturaly I do like to see huge cocks, but if it is connected to a man who is small minded and predujiced what is the use. We are all brothers under the skin, regardless of what colour nature bestowed us with. Love should be universal. There should be no barriers between races. We all have one life to live, so why not
live it in peace and harmony. Lets not fool ourselves and make believe that there is no predjudice in this world. There is and we all know it. Even between members of our own clan (For want of a better word), but we don't have to subscribe to such outdated philosophies. If you or anyone else actually read what I have just said, and are prepared to put aside your differences then I would be most happy to hearfrom you. (William you seem like a very rational person and I would like to ask you a question. Does the pleasure you get from seeing "huge cocks" have anything to do with your preference for black men? Secondly you said "I love black men because they are different from me." How are they different?)

From teia williams

I am a heterosexual female and DICK SIZE is very important to me. A man with a big, thick dick is such a turn on.There is no comparison to having sex with a thick, big, black dick moving in and out of my pussy. So I know it must be mega important to a gay man too. Because what is the sence of wanting to have sex with a man with a little dick. If you are going to take a ride on the dick side , you might as well do it right!!!!!!(I was feeling you till the do it right part. You imply that a small penis is not adequate to satisfy a sexual partner. This is entirely false. But from what I have heard you are speaking the truth. Gay black men do seem to make penis size "mega" important to use your words.)

 

From riqui
lawric@msn.com
I can understand to a certain degree wanting to feel a partner inside you but is that the only way one can be sexually fulfilled? Being hung like a horse means nothing if a) you don't know how to make love and B) if you're an ass! How one treats their partner as well as themselves is much more important. I think their are more average sized men (I mean 4 1/2"-8") than "horse hung". Fantasy is one thing but let's deal with reality; you're more likely to come across a good man with average genitals that work very well or a horse man with some malfunctioning equipment or a very large ego to match,than you would a caring individual who just happens to extremly well endowed! Remember egos like penises come in a variety of sizes and a big dick doesn't mean you are going to see heaven!!

 

 

From Teyquane Uzzell
tuzzell@hotmail.com
Yo, wassup son? I read your article about penis size, to me it does not matter what a brother has swingin'. Penis size does not guarantee a wonderful relationship just like muscles don't either... Love is based on spirituality and great sex, a big dick does not constitute great sex or love, niggas need to grow up, word...PEACE

 

From "Dick $lick" (the male exotic dancer)
Anonymous... for now, but not for long.
Mike (or To Whom It May Concern):
I am a 23 y.o. African-American male who came upon your page through web surfing, and as I viewed your beautiful, artistic depiction on our people (namely our men), I couldn't help but become moved by it. This isn't my account, it's a friend's, therefore I chose to remain anonymous for now with my views that I just had to put down after reading your (and your viewers') views on the Black male image and His stereotypical 12-inch dong that we all, as Black brothers, are said to have. Well, I fall under the category of the stereotypical, being that I am blessed with 10 long, gorgeous inches of the leanest, meanest penis! I'm sure that as you read that line that I am proud, very proud, of my endowments because I am, however, I too share way more talents and skills than having good access to a dick many white (and some Black) males dream about. Your views on the matter are in support of mine, yet, we as Black men (those that are hung like healthy mules) must accept ourselves not just as what we are, but as this being a regular part of our culture. True, not all of us have a "third leg" to whip out on some ass or pussy, yet we are a people that have been known to have the most voluptuos body parts in all races. That is NOTHING to be ashamed of, whether we are a part of this trait or not. I see it as a way to simply accept it as is, and see it as something beautiful within our race. We were the 1st on this green earth, we created the first sounds of music, we made laws, organized villages, and so on and so on; What I'm saying is our penises (small, large, or DAMN TOO BIG) is but a "small" part of our being as Black males. My dick has got me modeling gigs, precious gifts, and great opportunities to act out a lot of fantasies that I am still working on this day... but my mind, my intelligence builds me a career, a home, and (hopefully soon) someone to share it all with. Your web page certainly focuses on the BIG BLACK DICK, but in a beautiful non-demeaning way, unlike those other "See HUGE MONSTER BLACK COCKS" web sites. And for that, I congratulate you.. and plan on sending pics of my own Big Black One into you soon to add to your amatuer gallery and personal pages. Oh, and as far as what I look for in another brother... a nice-sized dick is very fun to suck on, TRUE THAT, but a 100% BlakTop like me loves nothing more than a nice shape pair of bubble-butt bottoms. <--That's what catches my eye first. Nice face, Nice buns, and a winning smile and personality.

From Ron
jcorps@webtv.net
The size of a man's penis has always determined his ability to perform well in the bedroom... At least that's what most of us think. It is obvious to me, that as we place too much emphasis upon the size of Da Dick, we are Dicking ourselves out of a chance to really love a man. For what he is and not for how he is hung. Good sex, is good sex. Without the regards to the size of Da Dick.

From An Anonymous Speaker


I agree that penis size is a major concern in the gay community. I am 35 and divorced. Never while I was in the 'heterosexual' world did I ever have any concern about penis size. Prior to being married, I dated often and had sexual relationships with several females. I never questioned or was concerned about my penis size. I had never been self conscious about being naked in the presence of a female. I have, since my divorce, grown more toward a alternative lifestyle. It has been very disheartening, that the question of 'dick size' always seems to pop up when meeting and conversationing with gay men. I don't practice a very open lifestyle, so my contacts with men are not very frequent. At least 80% of the men I have met have used penis size as a criterior to determine if they even want to get to know me. Luckily I have had friendships that have blossumed. On the rare occasion where things progressed to anything sexual, penis size wasn't and issue and we both were pleased with what other had. If men would learn to appreciate each other for more that surface and superficial things (how hung, waist size, etc) I'm sure there would be less frustration and disease spreading in the black gay community. There is so much more to developing a relationship then intercourse. If that bond is there, the sex will be great if your partner is 4inches or 12 inches.

From wehoczr@pacbell.net

I think we all know that in life here as we know it, there is no one single element that will bring happiness. Especially since happiness is so subjective and what is happy to one my not be to another. It is more a culmination of factors that lead to an overall sense of happiness. For instance A gig dick and big balls may be the key to happiness for someone. But take me for example have a big fat dick but it sure doesn;t make me happy whenI am always expected to be on top cause I have a big one. Hell no not when I have a dick craving that turns my booty into a milk machine for the party. And it don't make me happy when I always seem to end up with partners that say stupid shit like "It's not the size of the wave, but the motion in the ocean!" They sneer and swirl their hips. But it does make me happy to reply to that remark with a, "Yeah, but if the oar don't it the water, we ain't gettin' outta da bay!" Mmmmhmmmm. So in conclusion it is up to us to keep each other happy and any brothas that got the big dick and are happy to have one, then e-mail me cause I will be happy to keep your pappy happy. (Bruh correct me if I am wrong but I felt like a had to answer a personal ad after reading your comments. So I have modified your email address to preserve the integrity of this forum. Click here to place a personal ad..Mmmmhmmmm)

From DIK4DAYS10@AOL.com

There is no guarantee for happiness in life. If being rich does not guarantee happiness, then having a big dick certainly doesn't. Take it from someone who knows what they're talking about first-hand. As you can probably tell from my screen name, I monopolize on my "endowment" because there is a very strong preoccupation in the community with dick size. Good, bad or indifferent, it exists. It's not all that I am but it is a part of me just like someone who model's; looks/body is a part of who they are. As I often say: "Everybody Ain't Able."

From darryl@aimnet.com

I have to say that I find big dicks very sexy in print, but when I actually date a Brotha it is way low on my list of priorities. Takes a big back seat to personality, sweetness and drive.

From chokFlava@Aol.com (choklutFlava)

Of course not a big Dick does not gurantee happiness, that is a ridiculous notion, but it sho helps. Seriuosly though, even though a big dick is nice to look at among other things, it certainly doesn't form even part of the critiria for a happinness in a relationship. I'm refreshingly amused by the sincereity of cobray01(we should get 2gether) and cetainly like Shurron@howard's statement, that we don't have an unhealthy obsession, but rather an unnecessary one, because, truth be said, physical appearance plays a major part in who we are attracted to and what attracts black men is cetainly as varied and as valid as there are beautifull shades of black.

 

From Carl

Hello Brothers,

For once, I would like someone to initiate a conversation on the topic of SEXUAL PROMISCUITY. None of this is new or should be new. However, I wish to understand what the brothersthink of the issue since there seems to be so much talk about SEX. Please, do not misunderstand me, I love a good lay as much as the next brothers. But who I lay with must be as important to me as I am to myself and not simply to get "a nut." Not enough of us have responded to this subject maturely and responsibily. Too many of us have used almost every conceivable excuse not to face this plague called, AIDS, STD's. We think we know what's safe and unsafe, know all about condoms, know all about these new drugs we've put our faith in so quickly, and we get very irate when the word promiscuity is used. But nobody is out there saying loud and clear and nonstop:Stop acting like assholes. Start acting like adults. Even in the best of times, an adult does not play Russian roulette with cocks.

I look forward to your response in kind.

Carl

Dear Carl although not exactly relevant to the topic at hand, you do raise a good point that this site will address in the upcoming forum "Should I tell others my HIV status"

 

Message to COBRAY01 Have had a great laugh, thank's Can get me on 113073.1457@compuserve.com
hi from Paris (France) COBRAY01 it seems as though you have an admirer...hhhhmmmm

From an anonymous speaker

it is not the size all you need is JESUS! GOD IS NOT FOR THESE O.K ACTS. 2:38 saids then peter said unto them repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.(How did I know this was coming?)

 

From shurron@cldc.howard.edu

I feel it comes down to what a man looks for in someone. Like the rest of society, the black gay community is one where one's image is highly focused upon. This includes penis size. I also feel there are those who view the big penis as the completion to a man's package. That is, he can have the money, the body, and the job, but because there is such an emphasis placed upon sex, some of us feel none of the above will hold like a big penis can if it is a big penis you're looking for. To end my opinion, I make the following points:
1. A big penis does not guarantee one happiness always, in my opinion. I will also say it's
not bad to have.
2. Penis size is a relative concept. A person with a relatively small oral or anal
cavity might consider a "small" penis to be sufficient for his sexual activity.
3. For every small penis which one might think won't get the job done, there is a
big penis which will not also get the job done. In other words, not feeling
is just as bad to me as having endowment and no skill.
4. To my brothers with big penises, watch out for the vultures. Not everyone will
want you for your mind if they first see your print in your pants or shorts.
5. To my brothers with small penises, if you can work with what you do have, you
shouldn't have a problem. After all, is penis size the key or great sex or is
it technique.
6. If a brother's foreplay is excellent, penetration might not be neccessary. If
penetration occurs after excellent foreplay, then size shouldn't matter if
you're turned on to the person and the act, not his penis.
7. No matter what penis size you have, because GOD created you, you are already
endowed. The Bible says man was made in GOD's image. Therefore, you are
beautifully and wonderfully made just as you are. Man looks on the outward
appearance, but GOD looks at the heart.
8. As a black gay Christian, size is not a factor with me. As a human being,
looks and body are a factor for me. However, as a part of Christ's body,
I have learned to rise above my humanity. Therefore, physical appearance
and penis size are not MAJOR factors to me.
9. Finally, I feel our community as a whole does not have an UNHEALTHY
preoccupation with penis size, just an UNNECCESSARY one.

 

From COBRAY01

Ok,my bruthas,now this is a subject that has been on my mind for a long time.The size of a penis. Well for me it does make a difference,simply because in the real scope of things,there is a certain feel that one needs to be satisfied in the act of male to male sex.If the penatration is not deep enough or if it doesn't stretch that musucle enough to get that felling, then the one in the recieving position is not satisfied,some say that sex is all in the mind but I disagree on that piont,because it also takes the body and the nerve endings there in to reach that climax of a life time. Regardless of how deep the feelings for your partner goes,all things concidered, it takes a certain size to do the job well enough to be satisfied. The real fun of male to male sex is the satisfaction of the act on both people in volved. In many cases I have "cumm" across a brutha that was all that in appearence and a total flop in bed, not because of a lack of personality or charm,but simply because the size of the penis didn't to the job,therefore leaving me in one aspect unfulfiled, to say the least. There also have been times when I've happened upon a brutha whose endowment was much more than even I could handle, there again leaving me unfulfiled,for I didn't want to wind up in St Petesburg's Bayfront Medical Center. But all in all the size of the penis is ensual to the massaging of the prosate gland for that enisual climax of a life time per say. So for those who say size is a Queens Reign of Terror,I say size is just ones point of view.This has been COBRAY01 cummin to U again ON THE REAL

From eshar01@sprynet.com

In response to the penis size question--There is some validity to the idea that larger penises are visually and psychologically appealing to a lot of gay black men. From a fantasy standpoint, I wouldn't say large penis worship is a problem. But in reality size worship does have a down side. That is we start to see each other as fetish objects and carricatures rather than as people. I believe other races have always objectified us. Now we're doing it to ourselves. Of course a lot of this objectifying has to do with the secretness of our lives. We can't live openly and honestly in many cases, so we dissect each other, and go after choice body parts such as penises, asses, legs, thighs, etc. We select our "relationship of the night" much like we select from a menu in a fastfood restaurant--"One big dick and two thighs to go please!" One thing that help to reverse this is for our media and information providers to do more stories and visuals that stress romance of gay relationships. Your pictures are hot and exciting, but there's a lot of focus on the penis. I wish there were more pictures of couples in romantic and intimate settings--things like couples making love on the beach, having breakfast in the nude, just playing and frolicking. These kind of pictures would focus more on the activity and less on any particular body part. Of course I know the reality. And people on the Net want to "see some dick" I just hope there is a way to balance all of this. Keep up the good work.(You raise a very good point. This site will try to create a slideshow that shows black gay males in less depicting ways. Thanx Mike)

From SSpo4@aol.com

I was just wondering, i read the article on big vs small about the myths of black male penis's. Then I notice that you put a picture of a black male with an abnormally large penis in the "pic of da day." I just found that rather interesting. (The purpose of this dicussion is not to say which is better namely a large or a small penis but moreso to understand unhealthy preoccupation with size period within the black gay male community. I hope that clears up your misunderstanding and the misunderstanding of others. Mike)

From dscent@juno.com

No it doesn't. I believe a lot of what you siad is true. See the type of brotha I am I feel that who ever I am with is lucky because I got it goin on. And I not talking about penis size. I'm talking about self esteem. For many years I thought I had high self esteem but I was really fakin the funk. You have to have more to offer me than a big penis because without love, respect, and trust its not going to be around too long any way. I have been told that I wasn't the biggest they had nor the smallest they had but I was the best they had. So there you have it. And as far as the black man myth, this is just one of many invalid concepts that black males continue to perpetuate by not communicating with one another. I feel that as HUMANS our thoughts are not too far apart. Many deficiencies and we personally feel as black men are shared by us all. They're just untold.

 

From RocknWall@AOL.COM

A bigger piece does not guarentee anything other than having a bigger piece.I would say that 98% of men that I have known and associate myself with do not have penis size as part of their criteria for gettin' with someone for the short and/or long term. It's been my experience that (non-black) men are more preoccupied with penis size than black men. In any case, it is a physical attraction to many men and women. In the same vain as breast size, the color of skin, body build, etc. It's just sad when someone bases their attraction to another STRICTLY on physical appearance - as many people do. (Non-black is the term this site prefers instead of white, asian, etc. Thanx)

 

From an anonymous reader

NO. A big dick does not guarantee happiness, but it could put a down payment on it. Jest kidding. I don't know. I like big dicks, but am more interested in a brutha with whom I can establish an intellectual bond. Don't get me wrong, sexual compatability is paramount in considering a companion. I've been told that I have a "big dick," "a tail," an other descriptive phrases. I was recently interested in a man who is packing a punch, but the fact that he smokes and is mean-spirit make that thing less appetizing. I think a big dick is a symbol more that anything else of our desire to be masculine - more manly. Taking, holding or sucking a big one is possibly the remnant of some long forgotten form of ritual, religion, or other worship fetish. So, to answer your question. A big dick can be a plus, but it can also be a minus (if you can't take, hold or devour it). I don't have that problem though. Gotta go all this talk of big dick is making me want one. Maybe I'll call up that smoker with the bad attitude.

 

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